Untwist Your Thinking (10)

  1.  Identify the Distortion: Write down your negative thoughts so you can see which of the ten cognitive distortions you’re involved in. This will make it easier to think about the problem in a more positive and realistic way.
  2. Examine the evidence: Instead of assuming that your negative thought it true, examine the actual evidence for it. For example, if you feel that you never do anything right, you could list several things you have done successfully.
  3.  The Double Standard Method: Instead of putting yourself down in a harsh, condemning way, talk to yourself in the same compassionate way you would talk to a friend with a similar problem.
  4.  The Experimental Technique: Do an experiment to test the validity of your negative thought. For example, if, during an episode of panic, you become terrified that you’re about to die of a heart attack, you could jog or rum up and down several flights of stairs. This will prove that your heart is healthy and strong.
  5.  Thinking in Shades of Gray: Although this method might sound drab, the effects can be things on a range from 0 to 100. When things don’t work out as well as you hoped, think about the experience as a partial success rather than a complete failure. See what you can learn from the situation.
  6.  The Survey Method: Ask people questions to find out if your thoughts and attitudes are realistic. For example, if you believe that public speaking anxiety is abnormal and shameful, ask several friends if they ever felt nervous before they gave a talk.
  7.  Define Terms: When you label yourself “inferior” or “a fool” or “a loser” ask, “What is  the definition of “a fool”? You will feel better when you see that there is no such thing as “a fool” or “a loser.”
  8.  The Semantic Method: Simply substitute language that is less colorful and emotionally loaded. This method is helpful for “should statements.” Instead of tellling yourself I shouldn’t have made that mistake,” you can say, “It would be better if I hadn’t made that mistake.”
  9. Re-attribution: Instead of automatically assuming that you are “bad” and blaming yourself entirely for a problem, think about the many factors that may have contributed to it. Focus on solving the problem instead of using up all your energy blaming yourself and feeling guilty.
  10. Cost Benefit Analysis:  List the advantages and disadvantages of a feeling (like getting angry when your plane is late), a negative thought (like “No matter how hard I try, I always screw up”), or a behavior pattern (like overrating and lying around in bed when you’re depressed.) You can also use the Cost-Benefit Analysis to modify a self-defeating belief such as, “I must always try to be perfect.”

Mental Books & Movies..

  • Books ii love!!

Mimi Baird – He Wanted the Moon

Manic – Terry Cheney

The Dark Side of  Innocence – Terry Cheney

Girl, Interrupted – Susanna Kaysen

Stonehearst Asylum –  Kate Beckinsale

  • Movies ii love!!

Out of the Darkness – Starring Diana Ross

A Beautiful Mind – Kevin Spacey

Touched by Fire -Starring Katie Holmes

Girl, Interrupted – Susanna Kaysen

32 Pills – On Demand  (Ruth Litoff)

Shutter Island – Leonardo DiCaprio

Inception – Leonardo Dicaprio

Infinitely Polar Bear – Zoe Saldana

Gothika – Halle Berry

 

 

The B in Bipolar

Diary Entry #6

The B in Bipolar stands for Being. At least in my world it does. I am constantly in a changing state of being of Becoming or Believing. Being present. Becoming better. Believing in my recovery.

I struggle with the voices in my head. I have learned that my feelings are not facts!! Call it the ego of the enemy, constantly trying to control my ability to do the right thing.

Mentally Speaking Diary #4

Today was my 1st day of intensive Outpatient Therapy. I had anxiety about going. The program has really changed for the better since 2013. My short term goal is to complete the program. Long term to get a part-time job. I’m in good spirit right now. So it’s one day at a time!! I’m excited to set some realistic goals for myself. I also plan to take better care of myself.

If there is a group therapy program in your area take advantage of it. You are NOT alone!!

Mentally Speaking Diary #3

Good morning devoted followers!! I pray you had a wonderful weekend. As you can see I am back into posting. Its also a great release from stress and posting for non-judgmental suffers.

I plan to change the blog up and little bit and will be posting daily for the next 30 days. As I told you in a previous post, I will be doing an outpatient intensive program. My plan is to encourage you.

Happy Monday!!

Mental Speaking Diary #2

Madness-the drift of the rational into the irrational, the lucid to the delusional. Its not always easy to see it as it happens. At what point does joy become mania, sadness become depression, apprehension become anxiety, fear become phobia?

What do we talk about when we talk about mental illness?? There may be no important in the mental health field.

We are often afraid of people with mental illness, We fear their unpredictably and our inability to fully comprehend their illness. We fear what looks like volitional behavior.

Language doesn’t operate in a vacumm. It is both a shaper and a But language can help breal the cycle. Only  when what happens will the people who suffers with disorders of the mind receive the compassion we so readily extend to those with disorders of the body.

When persons with mental illness do behave violently, it is often, although not always, for the same reasons that non-mentally people engage in violent behavior. One of the most insidious and heartbreaking results of stigma is that it discourages people from people from getting treatment.

Mentally Speaking Diary #1

Sept, 2nd – Sept. 6th

Song: Tremble by Mosaic

My stay in the psych ward

I have had an eventful week. I had a psychotic episode and went to the e.r. because I knew what mania looked like for me. In the process I was on my way to Texas to visit  family. I had bought my bus ticker and everything. Can you imagine what would have happened if I had went to Texas?? I also hadn’t really gotten much sleep from the week before. My psychiatrist had to change all my  meds. But, I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything in the world. The nurse was nice. The place was spotless. I learned some things. Let go of some things. God works in mysterious ways.

 

Next week I am starting a 30 day intensive therapy program.  I will be posting about my experiences. Please pray I can complete the program!!

Take Care…

Bring Back Black Box!!

ABC 2014 TV Series starring Kelly Reilly (from Heaven is for Real) plays Catherine Black a neurologist who has full blown Bipolar Disorder!! 

(online on iTunes)

Catherine Black plays a beautiful, brilliant neurologist who uncovers the mysteries of the brain. But, get this!! She has full blown Bipolar Disorder!! For me, her performance/character was captivating because it proved that mental illness has no limits. It showed that every case is different and should be treated with care. This role gave Kelly depth in her acting abilities and me the courage to be myself and hold on to the ones I love!!

As a doctor Catherine’s treatment was coming from some place real, reaching far beyond science and anything you could ever learn in a book. As the series progresses Dr. Black is torn between two love affairs, keeping secrets from her family and co-workers and struggling to manage an unpredictable illness. I was so sad to see this show end after one season. But, it definitely draws you in and is certainly worth binge watching.

Sorry, I don’t do spoilers!!

But, you can check the show out for free on *Daily Motion* (or pay $34.99 on iTunes) and be sure to come back to post your episode-by-episode commentary if you are so lead!!


Also, check out the NBC 2013 TV Series Do No Harm

(Online on YouTube, iTunes and Google Play)

DO NO HARM — Season Pilot — Pictured: Steven Pasquale as Dr. Jason Cole/Ian Price — Respected neurosurgeon Dr. Jason Cole has it all: a great job, a winning personality — and a dangerous alternate personality. For years Jason has been able to keep his other self — a devious, borderline sociopath who goes by the name of Ian — in a chemical prison with a powerful sedative, but his body has developed a resistance, allowing Ian to escape. And Ian is angry about the time he has lost. With so much to lose, Jason must find a way to stop Ian from destroying everything that Jason has worked so hard to build.

Did you see Dark Phoenix?!

One word: Badass!!💯 If you love the Xmen franchise and Gene’s character you are going to loooove Gene’s backstory!!

The backstory on her life really sets the pace for the entire mutant saga. And I thought Logan was good??!! How can such a destructive, cataclysmic dark gift be wrapped in such a beautiful package?? The actress Sophia Turner played the mutant Gene Grey and she killt it!! aside from the fact that she was drop dead gorgeous and mesmerized you with those piercing brown eyes. I’m trying not to give too many spoilers way lol. So when you go see it come back and comment!! I just may go see this one again!!

😍😍🔥🔥ok!! on to my review..

If you’ve been following me for awhile you know that I am a storyline person. It doesn’t matter to me who the actors are…the storyline is what gets me and this one did not disappoint!! So it starts with the 8yr old Gene and how she came to be a part of Charles’s mutant family. From the very beginning Charles knew she was the most powerful of them all but he also knew her heart and he sometimes had to be the bad guy in order to keep her safe and from becoming her own worst enemy. How many of us Bipolar people have a really strong gift that’s also our biggest weakness?? For Gene it was: her mind. (Same here) What she saw as the bad part of herself, or the darkness inside her that she had to be rid of, was the one thing she needed to save the mutant race!!

Then after _?_ gets killed Magneto comes on the scene and all hell breaks loose!! Sorry I gotta leave it there. I don’t wanna ruin it.

But, its so worth it!!

150 min run time.

My take on “THE ACT.”

the-act

When my daughters finally convinced me to watch this show on Hulu, I was skeptical at best and slightly bored with the way they described it. Its a true story. I had heard of people who manipulated the system to get what they wanted so I thought it was pretty typical. Of course, I told them, “NO SPOILERS” and got to watch them squirm in their seats as things slowly began to unfold..

First of all, I was in shock because it all took place so close to where I live and I had never heard of the story. Secondly, the 1st episode was may more than I expected!! As I sat and stared at the scene where the mother opened the cabinet where all her daughters’ medicine was stored. I was literally sitting there with my mouth hanging open trying to wrap my mind around what kind of mental illness would cause this type of behavior on this level?? But, it was a familiar feeling and very uncomfortable. I had the same response when  I watched Hoarders for the 1st time. I mean I knew people were sick (me included) but this was sick on a whole other level!! If you haven’t heard about the story by now, don’t feel bad.. I was lost too. It stars Patricia Arquette (CSI: Cyber) playing the mother and Joey King (Ramona and Beezus) as Gipsy the daughter. For decades, the single mother (Dee Dee) suffered from Munchausen by Proxy and learned how to manipulate the system and gain sympathy from people, doctors and hospitals all over the world to keep her daughter sick, broken and dependent on her. Ultimately, Gipsy gains her freedom through one unspeakable “act” that forever changes the trajectory of her life. (Trying not to give too many spoilers lol.)

thO3P5HILCContrary to popular opinion, we all judge when it comes to things we don’t understand and mental illness is no exception. We may not like to admit it. But, every mental illness is different and usually shocking to people who don’t struggle with it and even more shocking for people who do. We tell ourselves “at least my issues aren’t that bad” or “Thank God I will never struggle on that level.” We put ourselves on these pedestals and that’s why we can’t relate when we hear about a mental illness that is outside of the “norm.” Hopefully, Gipsy’s story will shed new light on Munchausen and other people will get help for it before its too late.

My heart broke for Gipsy and I initially felt a deep rage and anger toward her mother.

At first..

Then I got to see just how sick she actually was and I felt an incredible sadness for her as well. She gave me a inside look at how far a mentally ill person would go to ease the pain and suffering she was feeling inside. I could only imagine the mother’s childhood and the things she went through before she had Gipsy. At one point, I had even more sympathy for her. Dee Dee used Gipsy as her security blanket. Just as a baby uses one for comfort. Gipsy loved and adored her mom and never wanted to do anything to hurt or upset her so she went along with her mother’s “act” even when she could sense something was wrong. How many of us have felt that way?? Before our diagnoses?? After?? I remember growing up and pacifying my mother’s behavior. I remember overlooking all the dysfunction just to feel some type of genuine love in my heart. Dee Dee was Gipsy’s world and I didn’t blame her for protecting her mother.

So overall, once I got over all the shock I could see a lot of their behavior in countless stories I have heard over the years and even in a little bit of my own story. So my take away was that we need to allow people to use their voices and share their story, Especially, when it comes to criminal justice!! Not everyone is just “acting.”

Stonehearst Asylum (Netflix)

Lol. I was doing a search on netflix mental illness movies as ran across this one. I guess I will label it suspense comedy?? Based on Edgar Allen Poe’s: Short Story Stonehearst Asylum about a recent medical school graduate brought in for clinical studies to offer hope and compassion to its residents. Dr. Newgate had good intentions but the longer he observes, the more secrets he uncovers. The movie is set in the late 1800s. Starring Kate Beckingsale from (The Underworld Series.) While the movie was funny to laugh at it, the story wasn’t too far from the truth of how the mentally ill and indifferent were treated in the 1800s. Disabled, homosexual, elderly etc. No one was exempt in those days. I don’t want to give too much away. But, if you can watch it until the end it will completely throw you off. Trust me. You will not see the climax coming!! I would recommend it if you are in the mood for some bipolar entertainment..

Hint hint: Think = Shutter Island..

However, it did have some interesting quotes:

“Death cannot be prevented any more than madness cured.”

“Of all the afflictions I think of none more cruel than madness. It robs a man of his reason, his dignity, his very soul. And it does so, so slowly, without the remorse of death.”

Girl, Interrupted – A Review

Woman, Interpreted

Entertainment Feature
Susanna Kaysen saw her troubled past re-created by Winona Ryder in Girl, Interrupted
By Sarah Saffian
Us, February 2000

girlint

WHEN WINONA RYDER FINALLY MET Susanna Kaysen, the writer she would be playing in Girl, Interrupted, the movie star was very nearly speechless. “She said. ‘lt’s you … I’m you … you’re me… I’m me!'” recalls Kaysen, who wrote the best-selling 1993 memoir on which the film is based. Like the movie, the book begins in 1967 when Kaysen, then 18, was diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder after she swallowed 50 aspirin. In the wake of this suicide attempt, Kaysen was whisked off to McLean Hospital, near Cambridge, Mass., where she spent two years in a ward for teenage girls. “Of course, I was sad and puzzled,” Kaysen writes. “I was 18, it was spring, and I was behind bars.”

But Kaysen wasn’t sure if she was insane or simply suffering from a bad case of late-teen angst, symptoms of which include a fragile self image, moodiness and uncertainty about the future. All in all, it’s a situation to which Ryder could relate. Six years ago, when the actress first read Kaysen’s book, she was reminded of a similar breakdown in her own late teens: After having chronic anxiety attacks, depression and insomnia, she checked herself into a psychiatric hospital for a week and began working with a therapist. The experience, though troubling, eventually helped Ryder bring depth and resonance to the character of Susanna.

“Winona’s own memory of what it’s like to feel alienation added gravity and a sense of purpose to her work in the film,” says Girl’s screenwriter-director James Mangold, 36. “Significant aspects of her personality–her sensitivity, the way she is so affected by things–fused well with aspects of Susanna’s. The movie is about who Winona is as much as it’s about who Susanna is.”

Still, Kaysen, now 51, was initially skeptical about the movie. When producer Douglas Wick approached the writer about buying the film rights to her memoir, “I thought he was crazy,” says Kaysen. “It’s not a narrative. It’s rather static and intellectual, and it has no obvious story line. How could they make a movie from this? I figured they would have to do radical things to it; otherwise, it’s just a bunch of girls sitting on the floor smoking cigarettes.”

Indeed, in adapting the book for the screen, Mangold decided to craft a cohesive, chronological narrative and to intensify the relationships between the characters. Most crucially, he fleshed out Susanna’s friendship with Lisa, a charismatic sociopath (played by Angelina Jolie) who serves as a symbol of rebellion and escape from the cares of the adult world. “In facing adulthood, Susanna can go two ways,” Mangold explains. “One is the way of the pod people in her parents world, marching off to war or college or family life; the other is Lisa’s way of seductive freedom.” Kaysen didn’t mind the changes. “If someone had told me what to do in my book, I would’ve killed thern,” she says. “But the movie is another endeavor, a variation on a theme. They can’t change what I wrote or my experiences in my life.”

Those experiences have been, by and large, internal. Kaysen has lived a fairly sedentary existence, as perhaps befits a writer. She has lived in Cambridge most of her life, including a brief stay on a commune. Although her father, Carl Kaysen, was an Ivy League economics professor, Kaysen resolutely avoided college, drifting instead from job to job, making a living as a copy editor and writing all the time. In 1987, she published her first novel, Asa, As I Knew Him, about a woman imagining her old flame’s youth, and followed it up with 1990’s Far AfieId, about an anthropologist doing research in the North Atlantic’s Faroe Islands. According to Kaysen the genesis of her memoir actually stemmed from her work on the latter novel: “There were paralels between being dropped into a foreign country and being dropped into the loony bin,” she says. These days, Kaysen still lives in Cambridge and suffers from depression, but says she has made peace with her demons, periodically seeing a psychologist, whom she calls her “tuneup woman.” She has also made peace with being alone. Although she was briefly married in her 20s, she has been single for most of her life. “I’ve been looking for a date for 10 years,” she admits, a fact that success hasn’t changed. “Fame, she says, “doesn’t bring a woman in America a date.”

SARAH SAFFIAN

http://www.saffian.com/womaninterpreted.htm