I know we are to run our race. I know we are here to have victory. I know we trust and believe all things work together for our good (Romans 8:28) and no weapon formed against us shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17).
But, I am reminded of (2 Corinthians 12: 5 -10.) That everyday his power works best in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9.)
See many Christians struggle with unforeseen strongholds and we pray for healing and that is exactly what we should be doing.
But, sometimes certain situations are out of our control and deliverance is just not in the plan for us at this time.
But, you know what we gotta tell ourselves?? That his grace is sufficient for us. (2 Corinthians 12:9.)
That we are strong because his power is made perfect in and through us!!
That we don’t boast in ourselves.
That we need to boast in him.
That our weaknesses does not make you inadequate💯 Be blessed!!
《Found on Pinterest》
There are three main parts of the brain which are greatly affected by experiences severe or chronic traumatic events.
The hippocampus processes trauma memories, by recycling the memory, mostly at night via dreams, which takes place over weeks or months. It then transfers the integrated stored memory to another part of the brain. High levels of stress hormones causes the hippocampus to shrink or under-develop, resulting in impaired function. Childhood traumas exaggerates this effect. The trauma memory therefore remains unprocessed in the hippocampus, disintegrated, fragmented, and feels “current” rather than in the past. Some people can be born with a smaller hippocampus making them more vulnerable to develop PTSD.
The brains “fear center.” The amygdala helps to store memories, paticularly emotions and physical sensations. It also controls activation of stress hormones … the body’s flight or fight response. In PTSD, the amygdala becomes over-reactive causing frequent or near constant high levels of stress hormones.
The pre-frontal cortex helps us to asses threats, manage emotion, plan reaponses, and control impulses. It is the centre of rational thinking. Childhood trauma causes under-development of the pre-frontal cortex, which results in impaired ability to assess theeat through thinking, manage emotions and control impulses.
- Identify the Distortion: Write down your negative thoughts so you can see which of the ten cognitive distortions you’re involved in. This will make it easier to think about the problem in a more positive and realistic way.
- Examine the evidence: Instead of assuming that your negative thought it true, examine the actual evidence for it. For example, if you feel that you never do anything right, you could list several things you have done successfully.
- The Double Standard Method: Instead of putting yourself down in a harsh, condemning way, talk to yourself in the same compassionate way you would talk to a friend with a similar problem.
- The Experimental Technique: Do an experiment to test the validity of your negative thought. For example, if, during an episode of panic, you become terrified that you’re about to die of a heart attack, you could jog or rum up and down several flights of stairs. This will prove that your heart is healthy and strong.
- Thinking in Shades of Gray: Although this method might sound drab, the effects can be things on a range from 0 to 100. When things don’t work out as well as you hoped, think about the experience as a partial success rather than a complete failure. See what you can learn from the situation.
- The Survey Method: Ask people questions to find out if your thoughts and attitudes are realistic. For example, if you believe that public speaking anxiety is abnormal and shameful, ask several friends if they ever felt nervous before they gave a talk.
- Define Terms: When you label yourself “inferior” or “a fool” or “a loser” ask, “What is the definition of “a fool”? You will feel better when you see that there is no such thing as “a fool” or “a loser.”
- The Semantic Method: Simply substitute language that is less colorful and emotionally loaded. This method is helpful for “should statements.” Instead of tellling yourself I shouldn’t have made that mistake,” you can say, “It would be better if I hadn’t made that mistake.”
- Re-attribution: Instead of automatically assuming that you are “bad” and blaming yourself entirely for a problem, think about the many factors that may have contributed to it. Focus on solving the problem instead of using up all your energy blaming yourself and feeling guilty.
- Cost Benefit Analysis: List the advantages and disadvantages of a feeling (like getting angry when your plane is late), a negative thought (like “No matter how hard I try, I always screw up”), or a behavior pattern (like overrating and lying around in bed when you’re depressed.) You can also use the Cost-Benefit Analysis to modify a self-defeating belief such as, “I must always try to be perfect.”
- Books ii love!!
Mimi Baird – He Wanted the Moon
Manic – Terry Cheney
The Dark Side of Innocence – Terry Cheney
Girl, Interrupted – Susanna Kaysen
Stonehearst Asylum – Kate Beckinsale
- Movies ii love!!
Out of the Darkness – Starring Diana Ross
A Beautiful Mind – Kevin Spacey
Touched by Fire -Starring Katie Holmes
Girl, Interrupted – Susanna Kaysen
32 Pills – On Demand (Ruth Litoff)
Shutter Island – Leonardo DiCaprio
Inception – Leonardo Dicaprio
Infinitely Polar Bear – Zoe Saldana
Gothika – Halle Berry
Diary Entry #6
The B in Bipolar stands for Being. At least in my world it does. I am constantly in a changing state of being of Becoming or Believing. Being present. Becoming better. Believing in my recovery.
I struggle with the voices in my head. I have learned that my feelings are not facts!! Call it the ego of the enemy, constantly trying to control my ability to do the right thing.
Today was my 1st day of intensive Outpatient Therapy. I had anxiety about going. The program has really changed for the better since 2013. My short term goal is to complete the program. Long term to get a part-time job. I’m in good spirit right now. So it’s one day at a time!! I’m excited to set some realistic goals for myself. I also plan to take better care of myself.
If there is a group therapy program in your area take advantage of it. You are NOT alone!!
Good morning devoted followers!! I pray you had a wonderful weekend. As you can see I am back into posting. Its also a great release from stress and posting for non-judgmental suffers.
I plan to change the blog up and little bit and will be posting daily for the next 30 days. As I told you in a previous post, I will be doing an outpatient intensive program. My plan is to encourage you.
Madness-the drift of the rational into the irrational, the lucid to the delusional. Its not always easy to see it as it happens. At what point does joy become mania, sadness become depression, apprehension become anxiety, fear become phobia?
What do we talk about when we talk about mental illness?? There may be no important in the mental health field.
We are often afraid of people with mental illness, We fear their unpredictably and our inability to fully comprehend their illness. We fear what looks like volitional behavior.
Language doesn’t operate in a vacumm. It is both a shaper and a But language can help breal the cycle. Only when what happens will the people who suffers with disorders of the mind receive the compassion we so readily extend to those with disorders of the body.
When persons with mental illness do behave violently, it is often, although not always, for the same reasons that non-mentally people engage in violent behavior. One of the most insidious and heartbreaking results of stigma is that it discourages people from people from getting treatment.
Sept, 2nd – Sept. 6th
Song: Tremble by Mosaic
My stay in the psych ward
I have had an eventful week. I had a psychotic episode and went to the e.r. because I knew what mania looked like for me. In the process I was on my way to Texas to visit family. I had bought my bus ticker and everything. Can you imagine what would have happened if I had went to Texas?? I also hadn’t really gotten much sleep from the week before. My psychiatrist had to change all my meds. But, I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything in the world. The nurse was nice. The place was spotless. I learned some things. Let go of some things. God works in mysterious ways.
Next week I am starting a 30 day intensive therapy program. I will be posting about my experiences. Please pray I can complete the program!!
Found via Google Images
Susanna Kaysen saw her troubled past re-created by Winona Ryder in Girl, Interrupted
By Sarah Saffian
Us, February 2000
WHEN WINONA RYDER FINALLY MET Susanna Kaysen, the writer she would be playing in Girl, Interrupted, the movie star was very nearly speechless. “She said. ‘lt’s you … I’m you … you’re me… I’m me!'” recalls Kaysen, who wrote the best-selling 1993 memoir on which the film is based. Like the movie, the book begins in 1967 when Kaysen, then 18, was diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder after she swallowed 50 aspirin. In the wake of this suicide attempt, Kaysen was whisked off to McLean Hospital, near Cambridge, Mass., where she spent two years in a ward for teenage girls. “Of course, I was sad and puzzled,” Kaysen writes. “I was 18, it was spring, and I was behind bars.”
But Kaysen wasn’t sure if she was insane or simply suffering from a bad case of late-teen angst, symptoms of which include a fragile self image, moodiness and uncertainty about the future. All in all, it’s a situation to which Ryder could relate. Six years ago, when the actress first read Kaysen’s book, she was reminded of a similar breakdown in her own late teens: After having chronic anxiety attacks, depression and insomnia, she checked herself into a psychiatric hospital for a week and began working with a therapist. The experience, though troubling, eventually helped Ryder bring depth and resonance to the character of Susanna.
“Winona’s own memory of what it’s like to feel alienation added gravity and a sense of purpose to her work in the film,” says Girl’s screenwriter-director James Mangold, 36. “Significant aspects of her personality–her sensitivity, the way she is so affected by things–fused well with aspects of Susanna’s. The movie is about who Winona is as much as it’s about who Susanna is.”
Still, Kaysen, now 51, was initially skeptical about the movie. When producer Douglas Wick approached the writer about buying the film rights to her memoir, “I thought he was crazy,” says Kaysen. “It’s not a narrative. It’s rather static and intellectual, and it has no obvious story line. How could they make a movie from this? I figured they would have to do radical things to it; otherwise, it’s just a bunch of girls sitting on the floor smoking cigarettes.”
Indeed, in adapting the book for the screen, Mangold decided to craft a cohesive, chronological narrative and to intensify the relationships between the characters. Most crucially, he fleshed out Susanna’s friendship with Lisa, a charismatic sociopath (played by Angelina Jolie) who serves as a symbol of rebellion and escape from the cares of the adult world. “In facing adulthood, Susanna can go two ways,” Mangold explains. “One is the way of the pod people in her parents world, marching off to war or college or family life; the other is Lisa’s way of seductive freedom.” Kaysen didn’t mind the changes. “If someone had told me what to do in my book, I would’ve killed thern,” she says. “But the movie is another endeavor, a variation on a theme. They can’t change what I wrote or my experiences in my life.”
Those experiences have been, by and large, internal. Kaysen has lived a fairly sedentary existence, as perhaps befits a writer. She has lived in Cambridge most of her life, including a brief stay on a commune. Although her father, Carl Kaysen, was an Ivy League economics professor, Kaysen resolutely avoided college, drifting instead from job to job, making a living as a copy editor and writing all the time. In 1987, she published her first novel, Asa, As I Knew Him, about a woman imagining her old flame’s youth, and followed it up with 1990’s Far AfieId, about an anthropologist doing research in the North Atlantic’s Faroe Islands. According to Kaysen the genesis of her memoir actually stemmed from her work on the latter novel: “There were paralels between being dropped into a foreign country and being dropped into the loony bin,” she says. These days, Kaysen still lives in Cambridge and suffers from depression, but says she has made peace with her demons, periodically seeing a psychologist, whom she calls her “tuneup woman.” She has also made peace with being alone. Although she was briefly married in her 20s, she has been single for most of her life. “I’ve been looking for a date for 10 years,” she admits, a fact that success hasn’t changed. “Fame, she says, “doesn’t bring a woman in America a date.”
Blown away!! The 1st two words I could think of to best describe my take on this riveting documentary about the life and suicide of Ruth Litoff told through the eyes of her sister Hope. The documentary was released in 2017 and is currently on HBO OnDemand. I had this on my watchlist for about a month and just decided to check it out last night. I was not prepared for the depth, tragedy, artistic expression and passion of Ruth’s life. Now I’m not really an “art” person. But, check these out for yourself:
Original art of Ruth Litoff via Goggle Images.
Nice, right??!! Ruth was creative and artistic beyond description. There are tons of original pieces on Google and more information about her life and legacy. I did not want to start with the details of her suicide because she was much more than mentally ill. Her family and friends speak of her as complex, beautiful, secure within herself and much more. Although the documentary had a lot of nudity, it really captured the essence of who Ruth was. One of my favorite movies, Gia, about the life and death of Gia Carengi, one of the 1st American supermodels who contracted AIDS in the 80s, is very similar.
Ruth & Hope in happier times.
They should have been twins, right?? Adorable!!
Ruth literally wrote every detail, kept every medication, every picture, medical document in tons of storage containers in an effort to share her creativity and inner demons with her sister Hope. In certain scenes of the documentary Hope became obsessed with Ruth and it began to really affect her life and family in negative ways. To the point that Hope started drinking to cope with the pain and guilt of losing her sister.
Her “favorite person”… “Her everything.”
Ruth kept pills from every prescription she ever had. Wow!!
Hope putting the pieces together…
I was definitely in research mode after watching this!! There a lot of similarities between bipolar and BPD (bipolar personality disorder.) You may also want to check out Girl, Interrupted, the autobiography of Susanna Kaisen. I know you remember the movie with Winona Ryder, Brittany Murphy and Angelina Jolie. Borderline people are toxic together. I would say Ruth was codependent and Hope was controlling. But, that’s just my opinion.
This blog entry was created to raise awareness of mental illness and its many dimensions. Let’s continue to share our stories with truth and transparency.